weepssss!! hahaz cny is so boring lah.. arghs.. i spent most of it slping cos there's just really nth to do. hope tmr can find some pple to hang out with n not end up slping again to pass time.
just wished jeffrey happy bday. haha i dun specially make an effort to rem bdays, but it just so happen dat my brain auto-saves the bdays of pple i was once q close with.
anw dat weesiang is seriously damn farny. everytime there's some holiday or my bday or wad, he'd b 1 of the 1st to wish me thru sms. but i think after so many yrs, i'v decided to stop bothering to entertain him lah.
dunno wad else to blog.. resorting to pure crap to fill the post. haha my cousins r playing mahjong. but i'm not really interested to play with them. think i'd rather go yahoo n play with the more pro pple. hahaha
so anw, HAPPY CNY~!! hope everything goes well for all of u out there, n may all ur wishes for the Dog year come true! :D
random thoughts at 12:11:00 AM
Thursday, January 19, 2006
The Picto-Personality Test When alone, you appreciate being able to do nothing if you want to, and setting your own pace for things. You are adventurous, always up to do the most extreme things. You have a certain recklessness that makes people very attracted to you. In the future you will be happy and live richly. |
| Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com |
random thoughts at 3:41:00 AM
i think i find sch getting better now dat i'v gotten more or less used to going to lessons alr. i dun really lyk OB tutorials cos i find them completely useless but at least the tutorials dun require us to do much preparations b4 dat. probably lyk econs the most so far cos at least up to dis moment, it's the easiest module for me. din really lyk biz law cos i tot my tutor is boring, but after yday i think i have a better impression of him alr. my IT sem tutor n cinematic pleasures lecturer r q interesting so those 2 r still q bearable for now. as for communication.. it's just alright lah. no love, no hate. :) i wan my 6 As! but i'm still kinda lazy n not motivated to mug hard.. YET. haha bleahs
was q pissed off with zq over jas but if he's such a guy with a lousy character n no backbone, den i guess it's not my loss if he doesnt talk to me cos of her. almost rolled my eyes til they got stuck when i saw the sms from him saying "u n jas dun lyk each other, so wad can i do?" as an explantion for his apology for not talking to me. just grow up lah. just find the whole thing v ridiculous n laughable. to think i tot of him as a nice guy n i was always willing to lend him a listening ear when he had so much complaints abt her bad attitude. so wad if i dun lyk her n she doesnt lyk me? COME ON. i nv bad-mouth her, i nv admitted dat i think she dun deserve him tho i really felt so, i nv told him to just give up n 4get abt it.. altho i dun have a gd impression of her, i made it a point to keep my advice objective n i also kept stressing to him dat i dun really noe her so i cant interpret her behaviour accurately. n now just cos she doesnt lyk me too, retarded zq is not talking to me. wad kind of girl wld tell her bf not to talk to sum1 cos she doesnt lyk dat person, n wad kind of guy wld actually obey such commands? doesnt it sound lyk some little kindergarten or psch boy saying "my gf dun lyk u so i dun fren u alr"? hahaha really damn childish. cant b bothered with the 2 anymore.
anw i used to believe dat i noe myself v well, but recently i find dat i dun really believe in dat as strongly as i used to, mayb 1 or 2 yrs ago. not dat there is a big change in my attitude towards things, but more lyk i'm becoming undecisive n beginning to sit on the fence more often than i used to. i dun particularly lyk dis change in me cos i find it impt dat ppl have a clear view of things n not say "i dunno" all the time. i'm not saying dat ppl shd b extremists, but we shd at least b tilted in either the direction of YES or NO, or have a preference for something out of all other choices, especially on issues dat matter. (i dun think it's as impt in itsy-bitsy trivial things lyk deciding between eating at burget king or kfc.)
watched ih cheerleading yday nite n i think hall 7 was really gd! they were the clear winner so i think every1 expected them to win the competition. my hall was not bad, better than wad i was expecting when myra said our hall wasnt dat gd. haha was v proud of ry! :D watched the video on hall 2's routine after dat n ry n i cldnt stop laughing over the farny instances lyk ry's weird actions during the dance segment n max's "oh shit" facial expression during the routine. haha i think cheerleading's q fun if u get to b tossed arnd in the air, stand on sum1's shoulders or do some stunt dat ppl dun usually get to do.
oh, i just remembered. pocky papa! sorry i din reply ur sms. thx for wishing me tho it was q belated. i rem ur bday leh! haha wish me on time next yr okay? :P
random thoughts at 3:17:00 AM
You scored as Mathematics. You should be a Math major! Like Pythagoras, you are analytical, rational, and when are always ready to tackle the problem head-on!
What is your Perfect Major? created with QuizFarm.com |
think the result is q weird. me? major in maths? hahaha psch maths or sec sch E maths still okay lah. other than dat den i CMI alr. haha -shrugs-
random thoughts at 2:24:00 AM
Thursday, January 12, 2006
he's been away for q some time some now. altho i decided dat it's better to just 4get abt everything after chatting with sweet sam (lol!) the other day, smsing him again made me undecided yet again. he said he's sad dat i din make full use of the time to think properly n dat i'm just afraid. he also mentioned dat nth is really certain in the future cos who noes wad's going to happen? n "dat's y pple try".. haha i think dat's wad set me thinking again. sigh. on 1 hand i think i prefer to remain single, but on the other hand, i dowan to regret giving up b4 anything started. who noes, mayb there'll b a happy ending? i admit i'm afraid to get hurt, but all along he's always given me the impression dat he's the faithful sort who really loved his past gfs, n dat's wad i'm looking for in a guy now i guess.
anw siang hong just smsed me to ask if my bday's arnd the corner. haha so sweet of him to rem tho he din rem the exact date. actually i feel kinda bad cos i noe his bday's in dec but i dun rem the exact date either. but nonetheless, altho we'v only worked tog for a couple of wks, i'm glad dat our frenship has continued tho we'r not dat close anymore. i rem meeting him every morning to have our breakfast of tea/milo with kaya toast. haha den during our working hrs we'd "escape" to the staircase to slack n he showed me how he spiked his hair. thinking back, i still think his hair is v cool. haha too bad our little gathering with shiyun and shihui din materialise cos of various reasons. shall ask him out one of these days.
oh. haha i had i a farny dream abt pakho last nite. it was a really sweet dream but i dunno y i dreamt of him. was freezing the whole time in my bed from 5-10am cos i was doing my ab114 hw at the v last min. wore a jacket n zipped it up all the way n huddled under my blanket but my hands n feet were still damn cold. think i wanna go home n look for a thicker blanket alr. the past few days have been v cold n rainy but i'm glad the weather is better 2day. if the wet weather continues, i think i'll b falling sick pretty soon.. bleahs
random thoughts at 10:41:00 PM
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
thx to all those who remembered! love ya all *muacks* :D
random thoughts at 8:06:00 AM
the piercing din really hurt. it's more lyk a v hard pinch for a split second den it's all over. i got a light blue stud which my teammates n i think is q pretty. i'm eyeing a nice luminous green stud i saw at bugis.. green is my fav colour! will go get it after 3 mths when i can change the stud :P
turning 20 in abt 3hrs. sigh.. i feel kinda old. 19 still sounds q youthful, but 20 is lyk.. ooooold! haha but nvm lah. doesnt really matter v much i guess. every1 turns 20 at some pt in time. was asking my mum abt her past relationships n it's q farny.. she registered her marriage with my dad b4 she was 21, which is abt my age now! q unbelievable cos i cant imagine myself getting married now n having kids at the age of 23. lol
hm.. hopefully dis yr wld b smooth sailing ba! i wan to do well in my studies n not slack as much as i did last semester. i wan to get better results! yeah! other things lyk relationships can wait lah. i dun really feel ready or feel the nid to get involved n commit to anybody at the moment. think it's not a bad thing to b free n single, for now, at the very least.
a handful of ppl have alr wished me an early happy bday, n i feel lyk i'v more or less celebrated it 2day so just wan to say thx to all those ppl who'v met up with me 2day, as well as to those who'v made a difference in my life, in one way or another -hugs to u all!-
counting down.. wonder who'll b the 1st to wish me happy bday on the 11th january 2006.. :D
random thoughts at 4:50:00 AM
Monday, January 09, 2006
random thoughts at 7:55:00 AM
anw i just got back from jp. went there to meet zihao cos he wanted to pass me a bday prez. it's v nice actually.. a choker with a Vanda Bloom Pendant - "a modern stylised intepretation of the Vanda Miss Joaquim" from Risis. was q worried dat it might b too expensive a gift from a fren who's not really dat close to me so i went to check out the website n was glad to c dat it wasnt dat ex. it's v simple but v nice too. i must say his fren has gd taste. haha :P here's a pic of it
while we were talking outside breadtalk deciding where to go or wad to do, i saw mich n kah chun. haha kc's q farny. he walked over thinking i wanted to talk to him when i tot he come over cos he wanted to talk to me. but anws, i still think he's cute. hahaha yah.. looks-wise, v my type i think :P i wldnt say he's v shuai, but he just has a "nice guy" face dat i'm q attracted to. n he luks gd in the uniform! sigh.. too bad i cant jio him. lolz
meeting my teammates for lunch tmr den go out with ry i guess. i wanna get a navel piercing as a bday prez for myself. haha but i wonder if the person will b there tmr cos i vaguely rem her telling me she has tuesdays off. but dat was ages ago. yup. if she's there tmr, i'll go pierce tmr even tho my bday's on weds. yay! weds will b such a sian day. have 2 tutorials in the morning an a super boring econs make-up lecture in the afternoon so most of my bday will b over by the time i end sch. sigh.. but it's okay! bdays arent really dat special anyways. bleah
kk sam's v eager to read my blog.. *winks* he's fussing me n asking if i'm done. haha so i shall not make him wait too long to read dis post. lol :P
random thoughts at 6:14:00 AM
Thursday, January 05, 2006
-scowls-
random thoughts at 4:17:00 AM
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
he's not even gone yet n i kinda miss him alr. so sian. wad's happening to me?! i'm damn confused. sigh but at least it'll give me time to straighten out my thoughts. mayb by the end of dis mth, i'll alr have the answers to all the questions?
n last nite, i dreamt of sth sad dat cant happen in reality. sumtimes i feel lyk i'm just living in my dreams.
my bday's coming! n i'v alr received a v special bday prez.. will receive another 1 from a v special fren whom i meet once or twice a yr cos he'd rem my bday every yr. i think in life, it's best not to expect anything so when gd things happen, u'll b pleasantly surprised. when bad things befall, u wun b dat adversely affected.
i cant stop listening to the songs. oh gosh.. it's really v nice tho some parts r damn farny n makes me wanna laugh. i'm v touched. but it makes me even more lost n confused :( i dowan to do the wrong thing n hurt any1 in the process. neither do i wan to get hurt.
y do things always hafta b so complicated? arghs
random thoughts at 7:44:00 AM
Sunday, January 01, 2006
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore..
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
-Kelly Clarkson
Behind These Hazel Eyes
random thoughts at 4:39:00 AM
i sent yr 2005 off n ushered 2006 in with sum1 i nv expected myself to, or at least, sum1 i wldnt expect if it was just a little while back. i wldnt say i enjoyed myself or if i din, but i think it went better than i tot it wld. it wasnt as awkward as i tot it'll b tho i admit there was a show of bad attitude on my part at the start cos i was pissed off by some other things. the fireworks were beautiful, but it was so damn crowded n stuffy dat i hardly had enuf air to breathe. somehow, it wasnt as nice as when i watched it with benjamin last yr. mayb cos i went to watch it with a different mood at dat time. anw i dun understand y pple had to scream n exclaim whenever there was a new burst of fireworks, but mayb it's just dat i'm not easily excitable.
i hate countdowns actually.. mainly cos of the maddening crowds, grps of rowdy ppl n the retarded spraying of foams. but surprisingly, i'v nv really been sprayed by any1 b4 despite being at q a number of countdowns in the last few yrs. i think the trick is to walk lyk u cant b bothered n dun make any eye contact with any1 holding a spray can. i think they prefer to spray at pple who r afraid to b sprayed at. i mean, wad's the fun of spraying sum1 who luks lyk she doesnt care n isnt trying to avoid being sprayed? i also dun c wad's the big deal abt a new yr. cynical me. bleahs
there'r lots of things dat i dun have control over. so i think for now i just wan to study properly n not think abt how the end of 2005 sucked. i considered asking him directly if there's a possibility dat we cld get back tog in the future, but i think the answer wld probably b sth abt "wad's over is over". So, i also dowan to fan4 jian4 n bang my own head against the wall. actually i dun really noe y i havent moved on especially after seeing dat he's pretty happy without me. mayb it shdnt even come as a surprise. after all, didnt he let me go rather readily? was told dat he luked q sad when i was mentioned, but i think mayb she was just trying to make me feel better. i shd distinguish dat small flickering glimmer of hope dat i still keep sumwhere deep inside. it's unhealthy to "breed" such false hopes.
2day i suddenly realised dat it's true dat love is blind. when u'r swimming in a pool of wad u think is love, u become oblivious to many things. it's probably also true dat outsiders c a clearer picture than those who'r directly involved. but somehow, i find myself missing the "blinded" times. n i'll feel v sad whenever sum1 asks n i hafta update them. it's q farny really. some ppl only knew abt 'us' when there's nth left. i really feel v sorry for myself for being so pathetic. dat's lyk the only word i find dat's suitable to describe myself lately.
gotta pack my stuffs n go back to hostel tmr nite, find out wad's wrong with my stupid laptop, exchange textbks with yy, n get ready for the new semester. now i have no external distractions, wad's there to stop me from getting 5 As? i dun care. i must do well. at least if i c 5 As on my results slip i will feel q shuang n my msn nick will go "YAY!!!!!!!!!!" again. yup. aim high, work hard, succeed.
random thoughts at 3:41:00 AM